Sunday, January 23, 2011

not my salvation story

Since we are a Godly, church-less family right now, we watched Love Worth Finding as our 'church' this evening. The sermon was entitled 'Understanding The New Birth.' And, just like most times when I sit in church, and it seems the pastor is speaking directly to me, such was the case this evening. Impossible I know, but it felt that way just the same. Something really spoke to me at the end of the sermon. Dr. Rogers was speaking about how we know for certain we have been born again. And the answer, "If we are now trusting Jesus, we are born again." Emphasis on now. He went on to say that some people have a story. A day. A place. Something in their past, that they know for certain, from that moment on, they were saved (born again). But some people do not have a story. And that is OK, because the bible does not say that we must have a story.

 I'm one of those people who doesn't have a story. I remember a few years back, when we first moved down here, and we wanted to 'join' our old church. The pastor came over, and at the end of the visit, he wanted to know our 'salvation stories.' I don't even remember what I said. But I remember wanting so badly to be part of that church, so I made up a 'salvation story' right there on the spot. It was based on my 'experience,' and it sounded good. But it was made up. It was a lie. That I told to my new (old) pastor. (...and you're thinking, "Maybe that's why you are church-less Kathi!" Maybe you're right.)

The truth is, I don't know exactly when I was born again. All I know is that in 2005, I had just had my fourth child, my husband had just left for Afghanistan, our home was getting ready to be in foreclosure, we were broke, and my life seemed rather bleak (to say the least). I remember thinking, "There is no possible way I can do this alone." As the days, weeks, and months passed, I found myself reading the bible. I found myself praying for my deployed husband, my lonely children, and help...I needed so much help. I found myself taking my family (minus their Daddy) to church. I discovered K-LOVE. I started reading bible stories to the kids. And we made it.

 I believe it was the Holy Spirit calling me to a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, and God answering my prayers. It is my 16-month long 'salvation story.' And I am still trusting Jesus. Right now.