|my Grandma Faye and Baby Zach (notice the red lipstick and tissue in her L hand:)|
no matter how far out the branch you are on the family tree, you will always look like grandma's brother or sister.
it's wasteful to throw away a perfectly good bread tie. and you should keep them in a bouillon cube jar in your silverware drawer.
a baby Bayer aspirin can cure anything. and so can red methylate.
it's ok to hoard cash, store it in your bra, and give it to your children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren as you see fit.
red carpet is a home interior statement. not a home interior mistake.
it's possible to shop in a mall for 4 hours, shop only the clearance racks, emerge with only one formal pants suit (that may be a size too small, or a size too big) for the formal dinner (you may one day attend), and claim shopping victory.
in nursing school, you will learn that you do NOT put lotion between your toes. *and, it does not matter that you only attended nursing school for 3 months then quit to get married. you still went to nursing school.
a good place to store a package of 3 Musketeers is in the bread drawer. because ... who?! would think to look there. or in the extra bedroom closet. or the laundry room shelf.
it's not unsanitary to place tissues (used or not) in your couch cushions, in your pockets, and in your handbag. *and, if you don't have a pocket, no worries. you can just place them in your waistline.
plates of Butternut bread and bowl of Mott's applesauce should be placed on the table at EVERY dinner.
a bad hair day doesn't matter as long as you have a tube of red lipstick.
you will never be able to cook chicken and dumplings, swiss steak, or vegetable soup right.
singing is important. nursery rhymes are important. folk songs are important. *you can make any fussy baby happy by bouncing them on your knee and chanting 'Going Down Sailor' ... which you will learn in your mid-thirties ... is actually 'Going Down Cellar.' **you can also make any toddler giggle by playing 'This Little Piggie' with their toes. an extremely exaggerated 'Wee wee wee' only makes it better. ***all of this will also guarantee you will have beautifully talented singers as children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren
a rust colored, fluffy, paisley blanket makes little children feel cozy.
chunks of raw potatoes never hurt anyone. neither did chocolate cake for breakfast.
pink dove soap will get even a gruff, garage-scented grandpa clean.
... ... ...
there's more. believe it or not. but i must get back to my children, and say more prayers for my sweet grandma.
thinking of you today, Grandma Faye, and all the wonderful things you showed me, and fed me, and sang to me, and taught me. i love you.